AITA for Kissing My Trainer in Front of My Husband?
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It was like an ordinary gym day last Saturday until I started to see that it would be nothing like I had anticipated. Mark (my husband) in his first attempt decided to come along and watch one of my sessions; I've been training for months now. I was really happy! I really wanted him to see how much I had progressed and go to meet my trainer, Jake, who had been a major factor of my progress.
The session was going on smoothly. I was confident, strong and proud in myself. He was coaching me through the exercise, making sure that I was executing it correctly and encouraging me as he does with all of the exercises. One day I hit a set that I had been working on for weeks and he smiled and complimented me. I felt like I was happy and thankful in that instant.
I leaned my cheek on his and gave him a quick kiss, without the usual, “what was that, did you?”
The moment was as soon as it happened and I knew what I'd done.
An energy change came in the room in an instant. Then it fell silent, and I glanced over at Mark whose face had morphed. He was not angry, he was quite uncomfortable, though. A combination of surprise, confusion and something else I couldn't turn a blind eye to.
Session ended but was not the same.
Then, Mark came to me in private. He didn't actually scream or cry, but there was pain in his voice. He questioned me, “Why you do such a thing?… With him being there?” To him it didn't seem a little innocent moment, it seemed as though he had crossed some line.
I tried to make him understand that it was not at all romantic. It was an act of gratitude, a thank you for all the help and support that Jake had provided me with, to me it was just a spontaneous gesture. However, once I got it out, I began to doubt myself as well. Perhaps what I thought was harmless, was not for someone else; particularly my husband.
We spoke in a straight forward manner that night. Discussed boundaries, respect and that what can be a right thing from one point of view can be a wrong thing from another point of view. The discussion was not a straightforward one, but rather, a necessary one.
I learned that we can make seemingly insignificant and impulsive decisions that may have a greater impact than we realize—particularly in a relationship of trust. I listened and didn't brush his feelings aside and Mark said he wasn't sure how to feel that he was in the moment, but he was grateful for my listening.
But betrayal didn't play a part in this, ultimately. It was about knowing better, getting to know each other better and where the limits are. It made me and her realize how much communication is important in the little moments, as well as the big ones.
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